Oh To Be Wise Meditations
A Despised Tax Collectors Prayer.
I want to pray. I need to pray. But I can't. I feel so weary, I feel so broken, I feel so guilty. I beat my chest asking you oh Lord to look over my faults, my doubts and my fears. Please look at me as a child coming to His Father who just fell and scraped it's knee. Pick up me Abba, let me whisper in your ear the crazy day I've been having. The crazy thoughts I've been harboring. Papa, there is a lot of people I love in pain with many problems. Will you help? Will you come to man on Earth and be mindful of us? I stand afar off because I am not worthy of your mercy. I need your Grace more than ever, I beat my chest to the same pace of my heart. My whole body beats soundly for you. Somehow someway as I step away from corporate prayer. I feel peace and strangely justified after prayer. I dont see a sign from heaven or miracle of provision. Yet my head is lifted as I go on my way. I reflect back feeling so proud that I have such a humble God. Jesus humbled Himself on the Cross beat His Chest to Heaven and said Father Forgive them for they know not what they do. You could have exalted yourself even in justified humility. Yet Jesus you died a sinners death to justified a guilty sinner like me. You hung afar off from your Father and died in the outer courts. I am justified because of your humility. Your so exalted in my heart it makes me want to seek you all day long. As I leave to go back home I brush past a highly esteemed Pharisee. He looks down at me and cleans off his shoulder because of possible dirt that I may put on him by mistake. He says to me, I thank God I'm not like you, I don't cheat people of there money. There is a peace in my heart today that I will not engage this Pharisee today. For the first time in my life I thank God I'm not like the Pharisee. I thank God that He desires mercy and not sacrifice. My heart is yours Jesus, may my life exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees.